Book Report- LoveBirds

LoveBirds by Trevor Silvester was a book that I originally borrowed from my sister thinking I'd glance over it, maybe skim a few chapters, and then return it. Oh boy, I was so wrong! This has become  a new favorite.



This book is meant to help couples discover their love type (one of 8 different kinds of birds). But honestly, reading this book, I learned so much more about myself than I ever imagined I would!

This book is unique because not only does it tell you about yourself, and your spouse, but it also has sections for each possible pairing of "love birds" so "you can use knowledge of your differences to build a nest that lasts."

The writing style is fun, and easy to read. I felt more like I was reading a letter from a friend than reading a relationship guide.




As I talk about this book with my sister I feel like the girls from Friends... you know the episode where they all read the book about the "men taking their wind" and how they are "goddesses?"

Phoebe: "Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men."

It feels that way because I can only imagine what it sounds like to an outside observer when I'm saying things like, "oh my husband and I are both swans... but I'm a kingfisher too." But I think the bird analogies work really well as a way to differentiate "types" of people while still keeping them all in the same species (not the "men are from mars women are from venus" mentality). And I really appreciate this (it makes me feel less crazy).


To show you how useful I found this book, I'd like to highlight a few key points that were RIGHT on! If you ever wanted to know what makes me tick... here it is!

(There was a LOT that I found useful in this book- I will likely refer back to it for many years to come. But, I'll try to keep this short for your sake.)

Me: Swan (feeling bird) and Kingfisher (thinking bird)

• Kingfisher
  
  
  
  • spend a great deal of time absorbed in their thoughts
  
  
  • conversations with self/ Voice in their head (no I'm not crazy...)
  
  
  • insomnia- can't rest until satisfied with something they're thinking about
  
  
  • can forget to say on the outside what they say to their partner on the inside (wait did I say that outloud?)
  
  
  • "Something you say may cause them to go off on a little thought journey and you've lost their attention without either of you realizing it." (This one is the kicker!!! This happens to me SO oft...SQUIRREL! haha just kidding)
  
  
  • Like to plan and organize

• Swan
  
  
  
  • sensitive to emotional states of others- caring profession (can you say teacher??)
  
  
  • Struggle to find the right words to express themselves when they're speaking (I much prefer writing because of this)
  
  
  • Hard working
  
  
  • peace keepers
  
  
  • roller coaster of feelings

Now, to keep things a little shorter, I'm not going to say all the things that were right on about my husband... but I'll tell you this...he is pretty much ALL Swan.

Here are a few points that I found enlightening about our relationship in the "Kingfisher & Swan" section and the "Swan & Swan" section.

• Both like order, details and rules (AMEN!)


• know they are loved by touch (both of us... "I'm Cami and I like warm hugs!")
  
  
  
  • vary caring and like to be cared for (we were both had service and touch as our love languages as well)

Here's a little I learned about what I need to work on in my relationship:

• "Don't run from the feelings your partner offers you- embrace them" (this is the Kingfisher side of me that is scared to deal with feelings)


• Look for a balance of the care you give and demand (since we both love being cared for and served we need to find a balance that works for us to make sure we are each getting what we need to feel loved)


• "Don't lose yourself in the details of everyday (things that need to be done) and miss living"


• This last point gave me a good chuckle when I read it... "Often I find swans build such a cozy life together that it can be hard for others to find a place within it, and often they feel no need for anyone else if they are particularly introverted." (Oh did I mention my husband is my BFF and the person I most want to hang out with!)
  
  
  
  • "A bit more connection to the word could energize you both" (we'll be working on this)

Like I said before, I highly recommend this book. It is a must read for all kinds of couples in any stage of the game. This book gave me some really great pointers of what I can do to improve my marriage, but more importantly it gave me a deeper understanding of myself and WHY I think the way I think... and that the way I think (though similar because we are both Swans) is different than the way my husband thinks (since my Kingfisher side gets in the way a little). And guess what... That's perfectly normal and fine! We just need to recognize that and find the best way for US and OUR Lovebirds to build the happiest nest we can.